Hawaii once had a rat problem. Then, somebody hit upon a brilliant solution. Import mongooses from India. Mongooses would kill the rats. It worked. Mongooses did kill the rats. Mongooses also killed chickens, young pigs, birds, cats, dogs, and small children. There have been reports of mongooses attacking motorbikes, power lawn mowers, golf carts, and James Michener. In Hawaii now, there are as many mongooses as there once were rats. Hawaii had traded its rat problem for a mongoose problem. Hawaii was determined nothing like that would ever happen again…Society had a crime problem. It hired cops to attack crime. Now society has a cop problem.
|Guy in my class:||Sir, what if we had a gay P.E. teacher? That'd be bad because he'd be looking at all the guys in shorts.|
|Teacher:||You're assuming that all gay teachers are pedophiles.|
|Teacher:||Carl I absolutely promise you that NO ONE in this school wants to have sex with you|
this scene eternally fucked me up
DEAR PEOPLE WHO MADE “THE GIVER” MOVIE:
THERE ARE NO FUCKING HOVERCRAFTS IN THE BOOK
NO HOVERCRAFTS ABDUCT JONAS IN THE BOOK
JONAS AND FIONA DO NOT FALL IN LOVE IN THE BOOK
THE INJECTIONS ARE PILLS IN THE BOOK
PLEASEJONAS IS TWELVE IN THE BOOK.
I DONT KNOW WHAT THIS IS BUT HOW DO YOU FUCK UP THAT BADLY
Time to show some love and appreciate these heroes.
Firefighters are some badass mutha fuckas
Video: Nick Offerman Recites Some Profound Shower Thoughts [gifs via]
At a deposition, Ferguson’s former police chief revealed that his staff did not keep records of incidents in which officers used force against citizens, so long as no one died; in other words, there was no way of telling how often incidents like Davis’ happened.
remember shit like this when they talk about how mike brown’s shooter had no disciplinary record