Memoirs of a Geisha

Trevor Porter

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Tom Robbins, Still Life With Woodpecker (1980)

(Source: falala-dispute, via wobblecod)

Hawaii once had a rat problem. Then, somebody hit upon a brilliant solution. Import mongooses from India. Mongooses would kill the rats. It worked. Mongooses did kill the rats. Mongooses also killed chickens, young pigs, birds, cats, dogs, and small children. There have been reports of mongooses attacking motorbikes, power lawn mowers, golf carts, and James Michener. In Hawaii now, there are as many mongooses as there once were rats. Hawaii had traded its rat problem for a mongoose problem. Hawaii was determined nothing like that would ever happen again…Society had a crime problem. It hired cops to attack crime. Now society has a cop problem.
Guy in my class:Sir, what if we had a gay P.E. teacher? That'd be bad because he'd be looking at all the guys in shorts.
Teacher:You're assuming that all gay teachers are pedophiles.
Guy:Well...yeah.
Teacher:Carl I absolutely promise you that NO ONE in this school wants to have sex with you

supamuthafuckinvillain:

illuminotus:

this scene eternally fucked me up

OG OG

(Source: monstration, via charlie--sheen)

youareyoubutwhoareyou:

itissilent:

vintagefreshman:

DEAR PEOPLE WHO MADE “THE GIVER” MOVIE:

THERE ARE NO FUCKING HOVERCRAFTS IN THE BOOK

NO HOVERCRAFTS ABDUCT JONAS IN THE BOOK

JONAS AND FIONA DO NOT FALL IN LOVE IN THE BOOK

THE INJECTIONS ARE PILLS IN THE BOOK

JUST

PLEASE

JONAS IS TWELVE IN THE BOOK.

I DONT KNOW WHAT THIS IS BUT HOW DO YOU FUCK UP THAT BADLY

(Source: rose-vest, via charlie--sheen)

uni-t-e-a:

amroyounes:

Time to show some love and appreciate these heroes.

Firefighters are some badass mutha fuckas

(via charlie--sheen)

werewolfau:

At a deposition, Ferguson’s former police chief revealed that his staff did not keep records of incidents in which officers used force against citizens, so long as no one died; in other words, there was no way of telling how often incidents like Davis’ happened.

remember shit like this when they talk about how mike brown’s shooter had no disciplinary record

(via charlie--sheen)

fuckmestupid:

FINALLY SOMEONE FUCKING DID IT

(Source: sizvideos, via fuckyeahloldemort)

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